Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

Saturday, 5 January 2019

Big year, big plans!

So, first of all, happy new year to anyone reading this. It's been a while since I've been on here. A big 2018, gives way to the promise of 2019 and I assure you that behind the scenes, I've been working feverishly as ever.

Having gotten hold of some quality synths, I've been experimenting no end this January, rediscovering my love for Vangelis and Heavy Metal (eclectic, I know) along the way. The first piece, albeit rehashed, of the year has been thrown out there "A Theme For Ken Colton". A tongue in cheek tribute to a colleague and friend of mine. But this is only the tip of the iceberg and I have my fingers in quite a few pies!

Speaking of fingers, I've been blighted by pain in both hands which is quite severe at times, particularly in the cold. I'm not one to self diagnose but it could be a touch of arthritis. It's affected my guitar playing quite a bit but due to the miracle of programming and copy and paste, it's next to unnoticeable. Just a case of looking after myself more as regards to diet etc (fish oils, ugh).

For now, I'm back and more inspired than ever, thanks for reading and more so - thanks for listening.
Take care and a very happy new year,

Phil.

Tuesday, 8 May 2018

BACK GARDEN GOTHIC E.P.




So after life threw me several curve balls this year, I have decided that it's high time to release another e.p. It's been 4 years since "Heresy". It's not made me famous but as a piece of personal art, it's something I'm proud of, and the satisfaction in revisiting it gives me a buzz every time.

After several false starts, such as "Faith" and "Hades" - I realised I was trying way too hard to reinvent the wheel and songwriting became a chore which led to me producing all instrumentals.

I have had a lot of time to reflect recently. There have been big changes in my life. Between buying a house, family bereavement and growing a little bit older and (hopefully) wiser, I have realised life is a lot more fleeting than we realise. So if I'm gonna promise myself I'll do something, I should keep that promise to myself.

I have selected six songs which, I believe, are up to standard. Each song has been written over the years, a couple have been recorded before, from the mid noughties up until the present. The theme I noticed running through them, is suggested in the name. Neighbours spying on neighbours, children's imaginations running wild, urban legends etc. I can't promise what it will sound like as I don't know myself to be honest. My biggest influence at this current time are Glam Rock, ethnic Romany folk (see "Gypsy" without intending offence) and Yemenite folk music. This doesn't necessarily suggest what it will sound like but I would suggest listeners expect a surprise or 3!

The real work starts on Thursday, my next day off. But the work has already begun and I'm feeling excited about producing songs (of the lyrical persuasion) for the first time in a long time.

Thanks for reading. Watch this space.

Monday, 17 July 2017

Piano musings: "Mercury"



It appears I've been neglecting my blog quite a bit recently.....

I've been up to my ears in work commitments. Alas, retail  is a cruel mistress. But as always - there is plenty of time for music and I finally got around to securing myself a piano simulator. Which is frankly incredible, as the piano is my favourite means of composing! I wanted the best of the best and I researched all possible software before discovering "Mercury" for Kontakt by Waves Factory. It's a HUGE sample factory based on Freddie Mercury's Fazioli piano which he employed at the turn of the 90's before his untimely death. A huge chunk of his work from "Innuendo" and "Made In Heaven" were either composed or performed on this particular piano, which now resides in "Metropolis Studios", London.

I'm frankly blown away by the sound. It is truly remarkable, but due to such a huge amount of sampling it is quite taxing on the CPU so I don't employ all 5 mic positions at once. Nevertheless it sounds phenomenal and I am looking to using it on some of my pieces very soon. For the curious, here's a demo video:


Tuesday, 28 March 2017

New Toy.

Actually, it's not a toy. More a very useful tool.



My fingers are getting used to returning to the full sized keys having been using the microkey for so long and there's a learning curve along with it. I appreciate that I've not posted a lot, if any new music lately but rest assured, plenty has been created and will be forthcoming very soon. But work (paying wise, that is) calls my name. And there is bills to be paid.

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

The Gunslinger




So have started on a new piece.

 I'm very inspired lately, as is quite obvious, and have to decided to strike while the iron is still hot. I've decided to create a piece inspired by Stephen King's "The Gunslinger".

Back in school, I borrowed the particular book on the promise from my good friend, Tom, that I would love it. He was right, I did! So much I read the entire saga that was borne from the original story and was hooked.

 I am aware (and very excited) for the forthcoming "Dark Tower" offering featuring Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey. As such, I have avoided any so called soundtrack snippets to the degree that I have no idea who the actual composer is and I don't want to absorb any thematic ideas from it, subconsciously or otherwise.

At the moment, I am approaching it as a standard western, but obviously - it's far from a standard western. I've earmarked a couple of instruments that I am looking at utilising, guitar with spring reverb - an old school western staple, muted trumpets and maybe a little choir thrown into the mix with some nice percussion.

The real work starts tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to starting such a DIFFERENT piece. Keep your ears peeled.

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Moonlight, Murder and Roses Part. I: Gypsy's Kiss


A man sits in an old burlesque gentleman's club. He watches a woman perform for him. She has a shock of red hair, pale skin and green eyes. The lingerie she wears is an unusual mix of burgundy red and green.

He knows the woman. Her name is Selena and she is born of a gypsy linage. Unknown to the punters around him, the man is a priest. And he is in love with the gypsy girl. What's more - she is in love with him. The man is drowsy on whiskey. His eyes grow heavy.

Selena leans in for a forbidden kiss when suddenly the priest finds himself awake in a hall of mirrors. Lightning flashes and thunder rumbles, the frame of the hall resembles the inside of an animal's ribcage. Every so often flashes of the dead appear clawing at the mirrors from the opposite side. Then he spots one with Selena. She appears stuck in the very second their lips were about to  meet. He approaches the mirror. Suddenly she begins to move. Her hands reach up to meet her face. She places a finger in either side of her mouth and proceeds to tear her mouth into a grotesque, bloody smile. She then smashes her hands through the mirror, grabbing his face and plunging her thumbs into his eye sockets....

He awakes outside the club. Dazed, soaked, confused and terrified. His only comfort is the sound of the rain in the night as a vixen screams in the distance.

Moonlight, Murder and Roses Part. I: Gypsy's Kiss

Sunday, 17 April 2016

GOTHAMITE Part II: Rebirth


So, I'm back. I've been very busy with part 3 over the last couple of days that I almost forgot to upload this. It's mainly driven by violins, a pinch of piano and a high frequency bass, which is not programmed but was recorded note for note on the keyboard, which I sped up in time with the music. It owes a lot to modern film music due to this but I don't deny it. It adds momentum and tension. Which is exactly what I was aiming for.

0.00 The Wayne's funeral. Stuttering violins portray the difficulty of the boy as he follows his parent's coffins towards the family crypt which has not been opened for many years.

0.11 A large crowd follows, signifying how popular the family are. Alfred places a supportive hand on the child's shoulder before he heads to open the crypt.

0.31 The crypt is opened and a huge swarm of bats fly out, people scream and bat at the air or cover their faces, except Bruce. He is paralysed with shock.....or awe..... His heart beats and his mind races.

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

GOTHAMITE Part I: Prelude


So here is the first part of my musical tribute. I tried to add a recognisable melody that I can allude to in the pieces to follow, should the feeling arise. The music box melody is actually an old piece of music I created to help improve my rhythm on the keys when I first started messing with them circa 2004 and it's been used and abused in various ideas but never seemed to find a proper home, until now.

I wrote this piece of music as if from a child's eyes and feel that it is a success in respect of that. I added a keyboard choir, introduced by a a choir pad effect and threw in some moody strings, just to add weight to it. It sounds majestic and unsettling at the same time.

The melody changes slightly and from the right a macabre, stardust jingling effect signifies a tense mood change as it's introduced by a timpani drum. I flicked nonchalantly on the detune dial at various times to add a unsteady vinyl wobble to it.

The dual guitars slash like a razorblade, twice to signify each bullet whilst a driving bass adds tension between each strike of the guitars and then suddenly, a bell tolls.

We return to the music box but the melody is softer, less certain. Every so often the stardust effect elaborates on certain notes, whilst two warm violin lines harmonise with each other, and all is still again.

Sunday, 13 March 2016

GIRLS WANNA ROCK!

Today I recorded someone else's song, It was awesome.

I am always scared of messing with someone else's work but I was given the blessing of free reign on production, so I cut loose on certain elements. The person in question is a lady I've known nearly 12 years, who is prctically a sister to me. We met through her husband - one of my oldest and dearest friends, and the three of us are obsessed with music. Suffice to say, we hit it off from the start.

We were always saying we should record something together, but the opportunity seemed to slip us by. Never in a bad way. There was always alcohol or some other vice that always interrupted our train of thought. Not that the three of us ever complained! One evening I received a random text telling me to check my email, so I did and what a wonderful surprise. it was 2 minutes and 26 seconds of a song, performed wonderfully, courtesy of this lady and her guitar.

I was immediately inspired. I set to work on mapping out the instruments, moving chords around and trying not to defile the original creation. I had a chorus type thing that I'd not yet used but thought it would fit seamlessly into the song. With her blessing I went nuts, even giving myself a guitar solo spot. Why? Because "Rock 'n Roll" that's why! She arrived excited and a little nervous. I was nervous myself. I'd not really recorded anyone else's song to such a degree and had been working blind on it to such a point that I could only describe it in sounds. But today, she would hear it. And she was pleased with it.

The hard part was about to happen. We had a number of runs through it, just to get the form of the song. I was conscious to make her at ease. This was her song, it would be done on her terms. The nerves were apparent on the first couple of runs! I called her a mouse. She then took the challenge and fucking nailed it to the wall. We then tried the old school vocal double tracking. I never copy and paste, it's soulless in my opinion. So she sang it all over again and it sounded awesome. We then tackled the new part, which was done in baby steps. We just needed to "FEEL" it in the song.

I was thrilled by the end of it, so much so, that I spent the entire evening adding the fairy dust to it.
The biggest issue for me was a phantom buzzing from the microphone which at times is still audible but is not a huge issue for me, as I freely admit that I'm an amateur producer! Thank you for an awesome recording experience, Tiffany. Already looking forward to the next time!

Here is the song: FAITH (Hear Me Calling) feat. Tiffany Cruickshank


Thursday, 29 October 2015

I've Met More Monsters (Than I Have Met Heroes)

A third track has been completed for the new e.p. It has a decidedly U2 esque sound, though it wasn't my original intention. I'm a huge Brian Eno fan and the ambiance he helped create on "The Joshua Tree" is phenomenal.

It was a challenge and a half to create this song and it's huge "WALL OF SOUND" chorus was a herculean task. There was countless overdubs, bouncing and panning whilst trying to figure out a higher harmony to the original guitar motif.

I wrote these words about 14 years ago and found them in an old sketch book. It was like meeting an old friend and the words are exactly what I was all about at that time. Angry, scared. embittered, heartbroken and still wrestling the tail end of puberty. It's fitting that this will share the e.p. with "Magpies...". The two tracks are yin and yang, subject wise so it makes a nice balance lyrically. You can listen to it HERE

I hope you enjoy it,
Phil,

Monday, 19 October 2015

Magpies & Rockstars PT. II

Told you I'd be back soon. This is a ballad I wrote around our wedding piece. The words have always been there and have been thrown into songs that they just haven't fit into, the vibe just wasn't there. I'm not keen on the vocal performance but have made plenty of attempts at it and this was the best of a poor lot.

But I'm pleased with the production. It's tight and punchy and the melodic guitar lead lines soar along with the ambient arpeggiated clean lines. It's just a pure and simple pop song, written in tribute to my better half. The words are simple, yet every one of them is true. To be honest it feels I've finally climbed a mountain or turned a corner so to speak. Creating music is normally second nature to me and yet it has been tough to pick up a guitar lately. Kudos to my youngest brother, James, who indulged me a spot of jamming yesterday which seemed to fuel this recording with a little vibrancy.
Thanks for reading.

You can hear it here: Phil McClean - Magpies & Rockstars PT. II

Monday, 14 September 2015

MC Dempsey


Had the nephews and sister stay over about a week ago. The house was never quiet but it was a lovely change. We were kept on our toes to say the least! Gavin, the eldest nephew, displayed a huge fascination for my keyboard. I have tried to retire her many times as she has seen a LOT of wear and tear. The touch sensitivity comes and goes and she has more coffee stains than a vintage french living room table. But I guess the fact I've written so many songs on her makes her of high sentimental value. He messed around with the effects whilst I set up the guitar straight in the 8 track and out the monitors.

He was conjuring up bizarre noises so I felt obliged to compete. I settled on an awful, bizarre tone - resembling a bastard creation of a wah pedal and talkbox. Gavin found it hilarious - "It sounds like your guitar is vomiting!" I laughed and messed around, trying to cook up a standard stock riff. The child had gotten hold of the microphone, declared himself 'MC Dempsey' and proceeded to do a little rap. It was very random. I started stamping my foot and playing a standard stop/start macho riff. He got very into it. I stopped and asked "Which Rapper is that?" and he replied "It's me, I just borrowed a couple of words." I said "Wanna make a song....?"

I gave him full creative control and helped him with the timing of the words. The words, I might add, are entirely all his. The chorus was a throwaway thing we made on the spot. He insisted on having a deeper octave effect so he sounded like those "black dudes in America" - Ah, from the mouths of babes. When I'd finished laughing at the child's statement, I had him perform twice as the lower octave made him almost incoherent and I double tracked his normal pitched voice over it. The chorus was fun. I explained it to him and sang it out so he got the gist. I performed a lower second harmony to his to add a bit more drama and we did the cliche rap shouts in and around it. The drums were lazily pre programmed but our young producer wasn't done there. As soon as I'd popped on some bass guitar, he said "We need keyboards too". I let him choose a sound, he chose a distinctly late 70's, bright electric piano sound (think 80's Power Ballad) and hummed to me what he heard in his head. I took it and moulded it into something that pleased us both and added it. The entire process took about 5 hours. It felt like 20 minutes! Looking forward to recording the album, Gav!







 

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

PHIL McCLEAN - Movie Composer

The world and it's mother knows that I'm a failed movie music composer, or am I....?

I love movies, good and bad! If you HATE a film, there's a chance I found something to like about it. Chances are that something was soundtrack related. Could be any genre but I'm easy when it comes to that. If it sounds good to my ear, I'll take it. With the continuing and ever worsening blandness of today's popular music, I tend to take shelter in soundtracks. Not that I'm a total oaf towards new music. You just have to dig a little deeper to wade through the auto-tuned, Simon Cowell sponsored crap we seem to be drowning in nowadays.

Anyway, you may not know I have done a VERY short movie soundtrack for an American film by a gentleman called A.J. Bangs. It was a fun experience. I had put up on my old MYSPACE account, a header of "Free movie composer for hire". No idea why really. Clearly that days cocktail of weed and beer (Ah, crazy youth!) went to my ego, and practically a day later, this guy came knocking, so to speak. he told me the story, sent me a rough cut and described the mood. He asked for an end piece that really made no sense to me as the mood was very different than he envisaged. But I concurred and created the music. He was genuinely pleased with my efforts. Said that he was looking towards a professional cut of his film. So I sent him different variations on the music. He promised me a dvd and a credit, then the emails stopped. He has been silent since then online. Though traces of his (once?) online existence are there. The music itself has resurfaced in various songs of mine to date.

For all I know the man could be dead now, but thanks to him I finally got a movie credit. So technically I succeeded at soundtrack composing. I made it, Ma. I really made it!
The film can be watched on this link HERE   . 

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Faith: The Music Box

I have already begun the story at philmccleanmusic.com and it is called "The Music Box". But I have yet to complete the piece, which at a little over a minute's duration is a bit of a joke that I haven't. But the music is there, the vision is there but there is something off about it that I can't pluck out of the air. Maybe I'm over thinking it. It's probably due to how pleased I am with "Heresy" and also how I don't want to retread the same story.

The hardest part is the "violining". This is a technique where you feedback an amp and through volume, tone and finger placement, you achieve (or try to) a sweet violin-like sustain to wrap around the melody. But it's not a perfect science and requires the lightest and yet, at times, firmest touch. The slightest artifact, i.e string scrape, can be echoed ten fold if you are not careful, especially when using a form of delay with it, which means a mistake can be repeated which I don't want. The piece is led by a music box motif, with various strings and voices throughout. I want it to convey a childlike innocence with a little bit of an unnerving edge. As the director M. Night Shyamalan said to the composer James Newton Howard of the theme for "The Sixth Sense" It should bring to mind "an invisible animal in the room that you can hear and feel moving around and that you feel threatened by; just as you think you're going to be attacked, it leaves the room".

The two pieces are nothing alike, but this is the same idea I wish to convey, albeit in a less threatening more ethereal manner, if you will. Thanks for reading.


  

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

"FAITH" - First Impressions.

I'm currently knee deep in the follow up to Heresy, Faith. And I have been struck by how strikingly different the tone and even the instrument choice is! It was originally an idea that I keep on the pseudo middle eastern slant from the first, but it became quite apparent that I was bored treading the same ground again. And if I was getting bored, then heaven knows how bored the actual listener would be!

So I have embraced, dare I say it, a slightly more embellished, yet mainstream sound, inspired by amongst others, Danny Elfman. It was not so much intentional as accidental. But every little change helps it become a more rounded project. I have even changed drum sounds. It's now gone from a tight punchy rhythm sound to a big resounding stadium drum sound. Big bass, big, snappy, snare.

You can't leave it all behind, lessons learned are in the past, so it's important I revisit them. There will be odes to the original with a flurry of Persian inspired magic. But I view them as I would a set of twins. They may seem very similar but there is a completely different story to both. Chat soon. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Mama

Today was tough. I said goodbye to my grandmother. I hadn't seen her in a long time but she has been on my mind 24/7. As has my own mother. It's always difficult to say goodbye to a family member but God knows how hard it is to lose ones mother. There is of course, a terrible sadness upon losing a family member but my throat tightened upon seeing my mother, who has been a constant and incredible carer for her mother, and upon seeing how difficult the loss is to her and of course to her father and her siblings. I'm done talking about personal stuff. This is dedicated to my mother, who's made me very proud and indeed my grandmother, who's finally resting without pain. It's not perfect, in fact it's very rough but every note is meant.




Sunday, 26 October 2014

THE FOG LIVE: TEN YEARS IN THE MAKING.....

I've been absent a while so it is nice to get back on and tell you my news. But first, a happy birthday to my beloved Magpie!

Our story begins in a bedroom with a four track, 10 years ago. 2 young lads decided to record music together, even though we couldn't really play instruments. We called ourselves "The Frequency Of Ghosts" or The FOG, geddit? We found our niche doing short novelty songs and Nirvana covers for our own entertainment. As we mastered our instruments, we actually started writing songs, songs that meant something, at least to us and recorded a number of independent albums for ourselves, friends and family.

Life took over. We've always been close and kept in touch, but the musical collaborations became less and less as education, work and family commitments took over. This was not a bad thing. But it certainly is something we missed.

Recently I planned to surprise my fiancee for her birthday. I wanted to throw a little gig and of course there was a vision. It would be me on guitar with backing tracks. But I needed help to beef it up, so I contacted my old friend and got my sister and little nephew in on the act too. We set up a marquee in the back yard, and after some hard work and stolen moments to rehearse we reached the day. Nerves tattered, a rushed half arsed soundcheck and with some invited friends and family neatly tucked away in the corner, the lady arrived. We opened with the nephew and his version of "All Of Me" by John Legend. He was a little pro and owned it. Then myself and my old friend tore into "Smells Like Teen Spirit". It was confident and assured and one of the better performances. We vibed off each other and he tore into the solo with pure abandon! My sister and I performed a couple of Bryan Adams numbers. She was excellent. I was sub par on the guitar. The nerves took over. Throughout the show I had a ball. It wasn't perfect, warts and all, but it wasn't meant to be. It was a well intentioned gig for my better half and I believe she enjoyed herself. I do believe we peaked with Aslan's "Crazy World". I even got to play an ad hoc version of "Selena's Theme", which was inspired by the woman herself. The FOG playing live, fancy that!

Upon reflection, I believe we've exorcised the demons that taunted us for never performing live before. Ten years is a long time, with exception to a small acoustic set, 9 years ago. We are already planning gig number 2. A live recreation of "Heresy". It wont be until next year but I'm sure as hell looking forward to it!


A PICTURE I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE:
THE FREQUENCY OF GHOSTS LIVE. 

Thursday, 11 September 2014

SAY CHEESE!

So as anybody who's anybody will tell you, publicity is an important tool when participating in the commercial arts! So I took a walk near the Slieve Blooms area in sunny Laois yesterday with a very talented photographer and of course "Mrs. Markievicz", my Hagstrom guitar and we proceeded to do a photoshoot in a beautiful forested area. It was peaceful and yet eerie. But the dappled sunlight gave us the opportunity, well Maria (The professional!) to experiment with the contrasting sunlight.

I'm not a "photo" person per se, but Maria put me at ease and made it fun. She's laidback, albeit still very professional, with a sense of humour so where I originally feared feeling like an eejit in a forest devoid of a guitar amp, I actually really enjoyed the shoot. Dare I say, I actually felt like a rockstar!
And the photographs are fantastic! We went back indoors to produce the would be CD cover inlay for "HERESY" and she absolutely blew me away with the designs she is working on. The woman is also a graphic designer par excellence. I originally gave her a semblance of an idea I had and she has taken it to another level altogether. I'm thrilled with the results so far and I can only imagine what she will come up with in the meantime! Here's a couple of tasters:





   And of course, her fantastic graphic design:

 
 
See, bloody brilliant. These photographs are the copyright of María J. Guillén. She can be found on Facebook and she will be getting plenty of well deserved publicity on my new website. 
 

Monday, 18 August 2014

The Final Furlong.



So, it's just finished. My story, "Heresy", is complete and my grin is wider than it has been for a while. The middle eastern music crossed with the rock music idea has given it an unusual yet not unfamiliar vibe and I'm pleased with the result. There are parts of it I feel I could improve on but when I do try to, the results displease me more. So I am pleased with the finished product to a degree, I'll just have to embrace it's little imperfections. As the creator of the pieces, I of course, would notice them and it's likely that only the most ardent listener would notice them from me apart. But it's an achievement and one I'm proud of. The e.p. tells the simple story of a man who questions his faith and his place in our world so much, he isolates himself from all society and in the process loses his mind. I do plan to write the story to follow the songs and leave it as an insert.

Of course this is all that is left to create and thanks to a gifted and highly visual photographer friend who has a stunning setting idea, we will eventually have the entire package. Work and other obstacles (see "LIFE") have hindered us for the moment but we will eventually get around to it. The recording is done, I have just completed the mastering, in my best amateur capacity and now we look forward to the last step in what's been a trying yet blissful, difficult yet wonderful musical journey for me. Thank you reader for taking it with me.

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

HERESY: A Concept.





This is the now official title of the e.p. I am due to start working on. It's conceptual (sorry) and it tells the story of a priest who has come to question his faith, becoming disillusioned with the world at large and deciding to take refuge in the middle of the Empty Quarter or Rub al Khali desert, bringing only a supply of water, food, a small tent, a bottle of whiskey (his eventual undoing when the water runs out) and a long wave radio so he has some degree of company.

His isolation starts to consume him, his mind begins to trick him and he starts to see God, Lucifer, Angels, Demons and various ghosts in the desert to which he converses and argues with and preaches sermons to. After a while his only link to his sanity is "Selena". A beautiful burlesque dancer from "The Siren's Scales" gentlemen's club, he once shared a stolen moment with.

The record itself is a mixture of rock and ethnic sounds from the Middle East and Andalusia. I officially stop the demos and start the real work next week. Each song will have a semblance of the story and I will explain them as they happen.

1. Empty Quarter Pt. I (Rub al Khali): An instrumental which signals the priests arrival in the desert. He's taking some much needed time to "find" himself after a meltdown in his church which we witness in:

2. Hand Of God: The straw that breaks the camel's back. Yet another scandal rocks the church, near meltdown in The Holy Land. He erupts, openly questioning why after all this, people still blindly follow a being they've never met nor have proof of his existence.

3. Empty Quarter Pt. II (Pray For Rain): The desert comes alive, akin to a Hellish dream taunting the priest who is severely dehydrated and begins to see visions.

4. At The End Of The World: The priest's visions become more powerful, he sees God arguing with Lucifer about his so called betrayal, a ghostly congregation watch them, too in awe and terror to speak out, but the priest openly calls them both out and gives them a piece of his mind.

5. Selena's Theme: Comatose now, the priest fades away in the darkness, tormented by the memories of Selena, the dancer who stole his heart, like so many before him, believing it is punishment for daring to question God.